PERSONAL PAGE PARTIES

Submitted By: Canuk Greg from Ottawa, Canada

I would like to voice my opinion regarding the trend over the last few months to have Personal Page Parties that are anything but personal. Gath gave personal pages so that people could have comments directed  to them and so that (originally) SUPPORTING MEMBERS could have a place to talk about themselves, show pictures and have a private place unique to them.

Initially, when the first 'page party' occured, it was directed at posting comments that would have some fun and relevance to the individual person whose page you were on.  Folks rarely posted more then three of four comments and the comments were always directed TO THE PERSON WHOSE PAGE WE WERE ON. In the past few months, people have picked up a tendency to spend countless hours on someone else's PERSONAL PAGE and post inane chatter about themselves or just talk back and forth to each other.  Do people ever ask themselves if they would want there own pagres DESTROYED this way?

Posting page after page of chatter (on someone's PERSONAL PAGE) where you only talk back and forth to each other is WRONG as far as I am concerned. Page parties have turned into cyber-vandalism. Ruining someone's PERSONAL PAGE just so you can talk back and forth between yourselves is WRONG.

What stated off to be a fun exercise directing specific comments at that individual whose page you were on has turned into a virtuak house invasion.

70 Comments
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   Kathy  From Valrico, Florida, USA    Supporting Member
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I agree with you, Greg. I would never go to a party at someone's house when they weren't home, & I have not nor will ever go to a party on someone's Personal Page either. To me "personal" means personal. If someone wants to have a party, they can have one on their OWN page & invite everyone to go there! That's my opinion, & I'm sticking to it.
04/Oct/07 3:40 AM
   Canuk Greg  From Ottawa, Canada    Supporting Member
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I agreee with your comment Jane, IF YOU ARE INVITED by the page owner.
04/Oct/07 4:41 AM
Betty  From Boston
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I agree...personal pages are personal. There should be comments only to the person who "owns" the page. Parties are by invitation only.
Betty
04/Oct/07 7:09 AM
   Tree Sheila  From Deniliquin, NSW    Supporting Member
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Greg, I have not been a contributing member for all that long but I have spent a fair bit of time watching what goes on here. I have to say that I too am uneasy about the hijacking of a person's Personal Page. I reckon it's just rude, simple as that. I don't think I would be too happy about having to wade through pages of drivel every time I accessed my Own Page. Maybe there should be a Party thread in the Forum.
04/Oct/07 7:21 AM
jeb  From ks
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Well, Greg, Ian / Sydney get a real chuckle out of the fallout from the party on his page. Keith induced me to take a few days away and my page just plain got splattered. My wife and I sat reading the results on my page and laughed our heads off. If I were overly sensative and upset by what had been posted, it could all be deleted in a trice, thanks to Gath's delete button at the bottom of each post. All the "inane chatter" is still there.

I don't disagree with you and am not attacking your opinion. In my opinion, I just see a broader interpretation. The word "party" has many conotations. Every thing from the best china and linen to butt sliding down the hall out the front door and across the porch. One of the things this community prides itself on is its diversity. Maybe that diversity should include how parties are conducted (thrown, attacked, instigated, erupted).

Since our personal pages are accessable to anyone by a mouse click, I don't see how they can really be compared to something private or a home invasion. Is the 'personal' part of personal page being given too much credence?

Just an observation, but I'm not so sure that the type of party you are objecting to isn't soon to fade away. The enthusiasm seems to be waning. In a few days or weeks, this forum may become moot.
04/Oct/07 7:39 AM
   Canuk Greg  From Ottawa, Canada    Supporting Member
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I was not trying to attack the fact that SOME people enjoy reading posts on their page when a party has been had there. This is/was/will be the fun of the site. What bothers me is that people constantly post garbage on someone personal page, and most of the comments are exchanges between the FEW people who join in or totally inane comments. Please explain to me why over 200 posts about music, sheep, sword fighting, whatever adds value to someone's personal page. Do you not realize that this causes people (who don't have high speed Internet) problems when they try to access their page? This is an INTERNATIONAL site and all people don't have the same access available that you might. Why post garbage on someone's page? Don't you think that people would NOT delete most of these comments if they were not concerned about insulting the person who posted the comment?
04/Oct/07 8:03 AM
   Tree Sheila  From Deniliquin, NSW    Supporting Member
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I've been thinking about this a bit more and have realised that some of these parties seem to take on a life of their own and just grow and grow. Nobody plans it that way, it just snowballs, especially when people are having fun. Therefore I will amend my earlier comment about hijacking, as it's not really that, more of an accidental takeover. Also, I had forgotten that you could Delete comments. Apart from that though, I still wouldn't like it on My Page.
04/Oct/07 8:37 AM
   Gail  From Cockatoo Vic AU
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Guys, we all have the ability to delete comments on our page. When the unsuspecting host returns to their page, they may read the comments and giggle or delete them as they please. We will all take note and remember to never have one at your page.
04/Oct/07 8:59 AM
anne  From vermont
I don't have a personal page, so some may take exception to this comment. I hope that's not a problem.

I think there are two sides to this issue. One of the fun aspects of this site is its frivolity, the wonderful way in which conversations, virtual parties, jokes can take off and develop. That's part of what has appealed to me about this site from the start, drew and I'd guess others as well. And the more restricted the site becomes, the more rules that are imposed, the less likely those moments are likely to arise. But Greg has a valid point... there comes a time when people need to think about how much is enough. The same point has been made about the main comments pages. I don't think we need more rules around here, but maybe just a bit more awareness.
04/Oct/07 9:15 AM
   Tree Sheila  From Deniliquin, NSW    Supporting Member
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Anne - Well said. That's the way I'm thinking too. I'm just not as good as putting it in words.
04/Oct/07 9:48 AM
   Anne  From Albany W Australia    Supporting Member
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Greg - I think to start this page on such a touchy subject is a credit to you and I think a lot of us would like to have said something similar, but like you, would feel as if we were offending people on the site and this could be misconstrued as a personal attack, which Gath does not want on his site. Because of this we try not to say anything to hurt others while they seem to do as they please.
I agree with you that I would NOT like my personal page treated in the same way in which Rolanda's has and I've only gone in twice to see what "damage" was being done and scrolled through one or two pages.
As you said, the first party or two was fun and there was just one or two comments from each person who joined in, not page after page and hundreds of comments which probably get away from the whole purpose of the fun they started in the first place.
This is a fun site that Gath has created and there has been a lot of fun on here over the few years that it has been going. People have been willing to help each other, offer advice, pass on condolences to people who have lost loved ones, made great friendships (I know I have) and shared many many jokes and stories and much more.
I know we all have our own opinions about different things and rightly so, and these opinions should be respected by others whether they agree or not.
I'm not attacking anyone with my comments about these parties but just putting my own opinion in writing for others to read.
04/Oct/07 10:01 AM
Ian  From Boston
What is the difference between this issue and the one in July 2006 about bandwidth hogging? Now we have flipping to a new page and TOPPING, in addition to "CPing." Talk about inane chatter. Seeing that there have been 8 posts in the last half-hour, and then when checking to see what's so interesting, one is greeted with five posts in a row of nothing and congratulations for that marvelous achievement. Those who voiced objection were told "scoll over it" and "kiss my grits." In this case, one does not even have to scroll over anything...just don't go to the page, and if you do, "scoll over it."
04/Oct/07 11:19 AM
Ian  From Boston
What is the difference between this issue and the one in July 2006 about bandwidth hogging? Now we have flipping to a new page and TOPPING, in addition to "CPing." Talk about inane chatter. Seeing that there have been 8 posts in the last half-hour, and then when checking to see what's so interesting, one is greeted with five posts in a row of nothing and multiple congratulations for that marvelous achievement. Those who voiced objection were told "scoll over it" and "kiss my grits." In this case, one does not even have to scroll over anything...just don't go to the page, and if you do, "scroll over it."
04/Oct/07 11:20 AM
Ian  From Boston
Speaking of which...
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x

Were you expecting something interesting?
04/Oct/07 11:25 AM
Ian  From Boston
So sorry to disappoint you.
04/Oct/07 11:28 AM
Ian  From Boston
Hooray for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My very first CP!
04/Oct/07 11:29 AM
   Anne  From Albany W Australia    Supporting Member
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Ian - looks like they could have done with you on the Party Page!!!
04/Oct/07 11:46 AM
Ian  From Boston
inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter inane chatter
04/Oct/07 12:04 PM
   Victoria  From Fernlands Qld    Supporting Member
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Ian - And your point was?
04/Oct/07 12:12 PM
   Victoria  From Fernlands Qld    Supporting Member
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I don't normally attend the parties but I would assume that you shouldn't party on anyone elses page unless they have invited you to do so.

NO invitation then NO party - it's just simple good manners.
04/Oct/07 12:14 PM
   Lynda  From Perth    Supporting Member
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Personally I would be delighted if my page was 'hijacked' as you put it. Lighen up lads, it is all in good fun, how wonderful that others thought enough of me to spend time at my place.
04/Oct/07 12:17 PM
   Victoria  From Fernlands Qld    Supporting Member
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I really hope Rolanda turned off the email function on her personal page before she went on holidays. Otherwise she will be coming home to about 400 messages in her inbox.
04/Oct/07 12:30 PM
   Anne  From Albany W Australia    Supporting Member
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Victoria - a good comment. I wonder if the partygoers thought of the consequences of such things as that.
04/Oct/07 12:36 PM
   Cyndi  From sc/usa    Supporting Member
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Greg; while I don't disagree with you, you have to know that the pages these parties are occurring on belong to people who, in sense, have "announced" that they are going to be gone. And, it is only a certain few whose pages would be "ransacked". I believe it gets a bit "cliquish" (no offense Ian), and I mean no offense to anyone else either. I know I went to Ian's page and added a comment, maybe even two, which were both ignored so I went on my way--no hits, no fouls.

On the other hand, it is a bunch of people creating a "scenario" which gets explored and elaborated on; and is perfect silliness which, I believe, we all need to have occasionally. It is funny for a while, and entirely innovative in its creation and evolution.

I guess at the moment I'm riding both sides of the fence; but, my point is that there is a limited number of people whose sites would be involved, and as Ian has said, it will play itself out soon enough; and I'm sure something else will come along to take it's place.
04/Oct/07 12:43 PM
   Becky  From Ohio
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I hope no one takes offense to what I'm posting here. The following is my own personal opinion.
1. I would not "party" post on someone's page that I felt that I did not know.
2. If I knew this person would not like it, I would not post.
3. I don't feel that people's pages are being destroyed. Gath has provided a Delete button if that person does not want these messages to stay on their page. I would not be insulted if my posts were deleted. I guess in that way I have a thick skin.
4. I might delete the posts after about a week if one was held on my page. But, I would save them in a folder in my e-mail account so that I could have a chuckle at a later date.
5. As I have stated before, posting messages is NOT hogging bandwidth. The actual amount of bandwidth used to post a message is insignificant, no matter how many messages are posted. What uses a lot of bandwidth is the downloading or uploading of music, video and program files. My husband ran a website from our home and did not have a "muscle machine." The computer only has 256 mg of memory and had a DSL connection. At any given time he had over 100 people posting messages and updating their files. What has to be remembered is that Gath pays a hosting service and they probably have quite a few sites on their server. Thus, the slow times we all have experienced.

04/Oct/07 12:56 PM
Ian  From Boston
While it was purely a semi-technical term many years ago, the expression "Bandwidth hog" has evolved to a metaphor for people who simply talk too much. Some sites deal with this by having a counter showing how many posts a person has made on that day/thread, and/or the percentage of total messages which that one person has posted. That acts as a substantial moral suasion against being a chatterbox, inane or otherwise. Some sites also have mechanisms to block anyone from making more than two posts sequentially.

One of the problems here, given the demographics, is that many participants go to no other site where conversation/comments are possible, just this one (by their own admission), and have not been exposed to the norms.

The irony is that teenagers, who have been brought up with internet manners as the older generation was brought up with table manners, tend to be far less guilty of bandwidth hogging than their elders.
04/Oct/07 1:18 PM
   Cyndi  From sc/usa    Supporting Member
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I spent over an hour "composing" my last comment, and, darn it, it still didn't come out as I intended.
I do not mean to imply cliquish as in high school
where one enlists, enrolls in, joins a group; but rather as elitists who have been grouped together by no means of their own--most likely because they are more outgoing, personable, even friendly (in this instance, anyway). I don't mean to say that anyone is calling attention to themselves.
I intend absolutely no offense to anyone, I promise, honest, really.
04/Oct/07 1:23 PM
   Becky  From Ohio
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Ian, point taken. I was looking at it from my husband's perspective.
04/Oct/07 1:24 PM
Ian  From Boston
"Inane?" "Garbage?" That's the kind of vocabulary I'm famous for.

"Music, sheep, sword-fighting?" What about the 40-70 posts about wieners that three or four people would put on Easy, the main page on this site? Those comments were posted on Easy, where they had at least the potential to annoy far more people than Comments on someone's Personal Page.

"Ruining someone's PERSONAL PAGE just so you can talk back and forth between yourselves is WRONG." Why would that not apply to the Easy pages?
04/Oct/07 1:47 PM
Ian  From Boston
I'll bet I can CP again.
04/Oct/07 1:49 PM
Ian  From Boston
And maybe even TOPP with ten more posts....
04/Oct/07 1:50 PM
appy  From india
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Ian in form..very good indeed..bandwidth hogging is definetly annoying..and regarding this party in personal page, well I have attended just one or two(and made just a couple of posts)...and think its up to the owner of the page to decide whether to have it or not..
04/Oct/07 2:30 PM
jeb  From ks
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Tenth verse, same as the first.
A little bit louder and a whole lot worse.

(Taken from a song the kids used to sing around a campfire somehow seems appropriate).
04/Oct/07 2:33 PM
   Keith  From CA    Supporting Member
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Since I've had a party happen on my page, and instigated one on jeb's page, I thought I'd better check this out and offer my opinion. First, after the puzzles, I come to this site for the silliness. My sense is that many others do as well. The page parties are silliness magnified by brainstorming, and great fun when you're in the middle of it. Second, Ian enjoyed his party whether or not he encouraged it before it happened. I set my page up for a party before I left, was delighted by the amount of participation while I was gone, and hooted and howled reading it after I got back home. Third, I would never invade a page where I wasn't welcome. The trend has been to party at somebody's page while they are off traveling. I, for one, wouldn't join in unless I knew it was OK with the page owner. Fourth, jeb left SO we could have a party at his place (at my teasing behest), and as far as I can tell, a good time was had by all. Fifth, I haven't participated in Rolanda's party, haven't even gone to her page to read what's happened so far, partly because I was gone when it started, partly because I've been busy since I got back home, but I hope it's OK with her that it's happening. I can't imagine her not taking the attention as a compliment, but if she doesn't, as jeb said, the delete key is such an easy fix.
04/Oct/07 3:18 PM
jeb  From ks
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What he said..
04/Oct/07 3:25 PM
   vdV  From Melbourne
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We could ask Gath to put a 'flag' on everyone's page something to the effect:- Parties allowed Yes/No.
All of the opinions quoted here are quite valid, but it would be a shame to remove the fun time some are having because others do not like it. It is much nicer if we can just make sure it does not happen to those that do not want it to happen.
Fortunately I think the 'targets' have been well chosen to date, and the 'victim' has enjoyed the attention, so fun was had by all involved.
Yes it would be upsetting for some. We are all different, that's what is great about the world.
04/Oct/07 3:59 PM
   Gail  From Cockatoo Vic AU
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I have taken on board everything everyone has said and there are valid points all round. As one of the 'culprits', I just wanted to ask why you would think we would be offended by someone saying they don't like the party idea. That's the beauty of free speech, we like it, you don't and everyone is entitled to voice their opinions. No offense meant, none taken. I do not view this as a personal attack against me, just a difference of opinion. If in future I or anyone else does something you don't like, just say something but don't let it become a major issue like this has become.
As Jeb noted in his first comment, the 'party' thing has just about run its course so I think it has become a moot point.
To those I have upset by my 'mis'deeds, I apologise. To those who have unwittingly hosted a party, if you wish to delete my comments, go ahead. That wont offend me either.
04/Oct/07 4:05 PM
   dino  From Sth Gippsland    Supporting Member
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I have my grandchildren and their friends with me. They laugh and giggle all the time at what? ...total nonsense!

Let's be clear about a few things. (1) If Rolanda does not like what has happened on her page, she will let us know. (2) As well as deleting any comments, she is free to report them as abusive in which case (3) the perpetrator is, I assume, blocked from the site anyway.

So what is the problem? Really personal messages we can send via email. The personal pages are open to any member.

Nonsense should be banned? Well let's ban jokes... aren't they nonsense, too? You get bored by some posts? Then just roll past them.

What is most important on this site is that is provides an interaction which is supportive and caring. If nonsense becomes vindictive, then we can use the ability to report an abusive comment.

Meanwhile, let there be more nonsense in this world instead of greed and fear and jealousy. It might just become a happier place to live in.

And if anyone wants to have a party on my page, then go ahead. But because of my vows... no alcohol or sex.

04/Oct/07 7:52 PM
   Canuk Greg  From Ottawa, Canada    Supporting Member
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Let me clarify something. I am not saying personal page parties are wrong. When you take the time and effort to post 'silly' comments that are relevant to the page owner, they are indeed fun and probably very much enjoyed by the page owner. I myself have posted at least one or two comments during a page party. What is wrong is flooding a person's page with hundreds of comments in the space of a few days, especially when the comments have little value or substance on that person's page. This is a site for silliness Ian, and most people on this site, myself included, enjoy the silliness on Easy, Medium, anywhere, when that silliness is contained. Soemtimes that silliness stretches over a few days (weiner sticks) but it dies a natural death. What is wrong in my opinion is flooding a PERSONAL page with 10 to 15 pages of comments over a period of days. The place for silliness is on Easy or on these pages that Gath has permitted people to create, NOT ON PEOPLE'S PERSONAL PAGES unless they have invited it.
04/Oct/07 9:18 PM
   MizTricia1  From Alabama, USA    Supporting Member
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I was away from the computer for one day and look what I find when I return, OH MY!!

OK, I learned something today. Some people would be fine with a page party and some would not. Since I do not find the idea objectionable, I did not consider that some would be opposed to some fun on their page.

We can fix this ourselves, we do not need Gath to make a box to check with our preferences. If you do not want a party on your personal page, then type in, right under your name on your page, NO PARTYING PLEASE.

I do not think anyone here would start a party or visit one on a page that had that notation.

As for the pages of "music", I loved it! Eve did a great job of bringing back memories just by listing titles from songs. Thanks Eve. Sorry if my 'singing' some of them took up too much room.


Knowing Rolanda, I think she will be OK with this party. Gail and Lynda and I would not have started this party if we did not think so. Even if we filled up her mail box with 400 posts (and there were not THAT many, just almost)it is easy enough to mass delete them from her box. I am sure she knows how. If not, she has 2 very computer literate sons who could delete them for her.
04/Oct/07 10:34 PM
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